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The two sides of Obsession

By Helen Edgar, April 8, 2019

The two sides of Obsession Image

Have you ever met Obsession?

I went out with her for a while. She had a pull on me, like a magnet. She was sweet and made my heart race. Other times she would bring me down and make me cry. She is beautifully damaged, a strange fervency. She is a vice and a virtue. She is passion and she is addiction.


Things were good for a while. I was focused and loved my time with her. Things were clear and then they got hazy, like a rainbow fog. It smelt good and looked pretty, but I couldn’t see clearly.


Obsession had me under her spell. I didn’t crave anything but her. I was dependant on her.The worst was at night. She was needy, and insistent. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. She would make me dinner sometimes but always left me hungry. She would tell me that’s what life is about, give in to your desires. Eat more. Do more. Be more.


There are two sides to Obsession. There is her passionate side; she is assiduous, she is determined and she pursues things that benefit her. I admire that. Then there is her addictive side; she is intense and exhausting to be around. This broke me. Obsession was consumed by everything, and I was a slave to her.


I tried to forget Obsession, to get her out of life, but, things got worse. She was ingrained in me: in my skin, my hair, my nails and my mind. She started to show up unannounced: in the shower, when I looked in the mirror, when I caught my reflection. She was there, always. Give me some privacy. She told me to stop singing in the shower, that I wasn’t any good. Please.


I couldn’t take it anymore. I started staying out. I met someone else. Her name is Elation and she has a cat and loves pasta. So far things are going great. She likes me, for me. My cooking, my smile and the fact I’m afraid of stingrays. She’s willing to share me with my other friends, too, like Sadness, Solitude and Imagination. I like that.


I haven’t seen Obsession for a while. Only last summer, at the local pool. She waved at me but I looked away. I don’t look for her anymore but I know she is around. I’m happier and I hope she is, too.

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