March Horoscopes

By Fluff Editorial, March 1, 2019

Read time: 3 Mins

March Horoscopes Image

Share a spell,

print it out, or copy and paste it to your digital to-do list. Beware and wish with care.



Choose a day. On this day that you choose, you will write in red crayon only. Every word, every dot atop an “I”, for the sake of yourself. Red is not the colour of love. Red is the colour of wellbeing. A full and happy tummy. Maybe a little money. And bows to wrap around yourself. Have these emojis in mind when your red crayon scratches your paper. 



For this spell you will need a birthday cake. Light two candles on the cake, alone. It’s your luck’s day of birth. Happy birthday. After blowing each candle out, wish for two rats with blue patty paws. Wait seven minutes for the genie rats to appear. You will see them carrying four leaf clovers in their rat packs. Eat the cake with your genie rats. Through each bite, realise there is no such thing as luck, only nice thoughts about the feelings you’re experiencing. 



Visualise a martini pool. A giant martini glass pool. Float yourself in this pool inside of your head. See yourself from a birds eye view. This spell does nothing out of the ordinary. Only a slowing down of time. Fun drunk thoughts without the google eyes or stairs to fall down. Share for mellow yellow. 



This spell is for a rainy day. For a rainy day to visit. An excuse to not leave the house. Or do. Water your brain. Water away your overwhelmings. With this spell, rain will come, wash your whelms away and leave you with a feeling of warm dumplings in your tummy. Draw these emojis on the back of your hand.



This spell is for someone who is allergic to nuts. It sends through you, the ability to know what a peanut tastes like, without the allergic reaction. Your rainbow will taste like honey if you write these emojis backwards. I mean your honey will taste like rainbow. 



Diamond paste. This spell is for a clean room. A clean space. Spick and spam. Share this spell with someone who needs a sweep. Tip toe through your room and back again. You’re ready. 



Coconut and shell phones. Copy and paste this spell and coconuts and shells will turn into cellular devices. True cellular devices for what they were first intended for: a conversation. Only verbal communication is allowed through the coconuts and phones. No screens here. There’s no images, no mindless scrolling, no other wild sources to interfere. Do not share this with anybody. 



For this spell, Scorpio. You will need to hang three pairs of your socks in a nearby tree. Give them three hours. Retrieve your socks. The tree is the key for gentle feet. Have this emoji spell in mind for light feet, which makes for a light heart.



This spell is for something fishy to happen when you’re bored. In short, it’s naughty. Share in secret to see what happens. 



When you want to leave somewhere immediately, but you must stay. It makes the staying bearable. Silence of your scatter brain. For things you want to forget to be put in a box. Share to receive. 



Your bones are made of silver spoons. There’s electricity inside of you. Electricity can make music. It warms things up. Electricity makes things go. So do you, and your bones help you with this going. This spell is for conducting your bones, however which way you’d like them to act. I’ve heard structure is good for things. Take two dice. Roll them. The number you land on is the number of times you must give yourself a shake. Share to share.



When you start in the middle, the centre. Your love heart centre. Those feelings that your love heart feels, they spin, the make shapes, sharp thoughts. This spell is to remind yourself to start in the middle. Eat lemons. Cleanse your palette. Restart where you should start. The zing brings you back to where you need to be. Share a lemon with someone who needs some lemonade.

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