I have accidentally-on-purpose made a habit of personifying absolutely everything to ever exist.
Especially the most un-personifiable things. Like teeth. And toe-nails. And refrigerators. And every individual leaf on a tree.
Colours obviously (say obviously in the most duh tone you can) already have their own persona. But we have lost the ability to talk to animals and trees and colours. So I have to make it up.
Emerald Green has a problem with authority, more specifically, following orders. Emerald Green went to university for a Bachelor of Fine Arts but deferred, and says Emerald Green, will go back after Emerald Green travels, but Emerald Green has no plan to return. Emerald Green has loud opinions and ignores facts if they don’t match up with Emerald Green’s view. Emerald Green likes to paint abstract faces in primary colours. Emerald Green does not have a license, and says it is for sustainability reasons, but Emerald Green is too afraid to take the test incase Emerald Green fails. Because Emerald Green cannot cope with Emerald Green failing. Emerald Green believes in “sticking it to the man”.
Coral Pink writes poetry on napkins in restaurant’s while waiting for Coral Pink’s linguini. Coral Pink is friends with everybody, except for Coral Pink’s sister. Coral Pink listens to classical music while Coral Pink studies. Coral Pink is peaceful and avoids conflict at all costs, but others take advantage of this and walk all over Coral Pink. Coral Pink falls in love with every person Coral Pink meets, and claims to have been absolutely-devastatingly-heartbroken-with-no-return nine times. Coral Pink cries when Coral Pink is happy. And sad. And angry. And excited. And tired. And bored. Coral Pink loves to hold hands. Coral Pink is soft, gentle, and naive.
Cherry Red is unstable. Cherry Red got kicked out of class a lot for having paroxysms of rage, despite being an incredibly gifted student, and believes the education system is corrupt. Cherry Red is manic and erratic, and known for this, and loved for this (when not feared for this). Cherry Red has a lot of love to give but doesn’t know how to show it (and doesn’t think anybody deserves it). Cherry Red’s favourite colour is Cherry Red and has matching fingernails and lipstick to show for it. Cherry Red is passionate about too many things to focus on one, so Cherry Red thinks Cherry Red is passionate about nothing at all. Cherry Red accidentally offends a lot of people by being too honest and tries to justify it by calling them sensitive.
Cobalt Blue wears bandaids on Cobalt Blue’s ankles under ballet flats. Techno music makes Cobalt Blue anxious. Cobalt Blue doesn’t like being picked up, or confronted, and definitely not tickled. Cobalt Blue has a second Instagram account for astrology. Cobalt Blue gets seasonal depression. Cobalt Blue sleeps in socks and uses a sleep cycle app. Cobalt Blue is excellent at saving money, and gives the best advice, but doesn’t know how to take it. Cobalt Blue only likes olives if they’re on pizza.
Lemon Yellow radiates positivity and only listens to music from our parent’s generation – specifically The Beatles. Lemon Yellow makes anybody feel accepted and welcome and comfortable. Lemon Yellow is the parent of the group, but low-key about it – “Are you warm? Did you get enough sleep last night? Want me to take you home?” Lemon Yellow is the big warm hand that scoops you up and holds you close and brings you to safety. Lemon Yellow doesn’t eat meat but won’t judge you if you do. Lemon Yellow’s phone is almost always flat, and Lemon Yellow is too immersed in Real Life to care. Lemon Yellow has iced tea running through Lemon Yellow’s veins instead of blood.
Jet Black will tell Jet Black’s friends to wear the most unflattering thing so Jet Black will look better. Jet Black doesn’t let anybody see Jet Black without makeup on. Jet Black is rude to cashiers and wait staff. Jet Black drinks tea boiling hot, without a tea bag. Jet Black’s friends are only friends with Jet Black because they are afraid of Jet Black. Jet Black has “Public Figure” in Jet Black’s bio on Instagram. Jet Black is “too busy” to dot Jet Black’s ‘i’s and cross Jet Black’s ‘t’s. Jet Black thinks Jet Black owns the colour Jet Black. Jet Black cries Jet Black’s self to sleep every night. Jet Black would really just like a hug, but Jet Black will absolutely never admit that, because to Jet Black, it’s cool to be a cynical cold bitch.
(I’m Cherry Red. Please don’t be Jet Black.)Return to issues