Over the past uhm… many, many years, I have had an absolutely crazy relationship with this wonderful thing we all know and (mostly) love.
She goes by the name of makeup.
I remember from when I was a literal toddler I was always fascinated by makeup, seeing my mom sit down at her vanity and apply swipes of mascara and little dabs of lipstick.
I even remember the time I went into one of her drawers and pulled out her red lipstick and just slathered that all over my face, I was probably two or three at the time… and I looked great.
I started really wearing makeup in grade 7. I started to wear it then because other people were doing it, not because I wanted to. I thought if I did it I’d be cooler, and everything would just be absolutely amazing in life. I would put on just about every makeup product from wet n wild I could buy. I think starting makeup at this age, for me, was both one of the best things I’ve ever done and one of the worst.
It’s one of the best because it helped me find a new creative side I didn’t really know much about before (when I came around to enjoying it and doing it for me).
But it’s one of the worst because it led me to thinking I needed to cover everything up and be “perfect”. It almost fuelled my self-hatred, I would think I wasn’t good enough, that I always needed more makeup.
Don’t let people (including yourself) tell you what you can and can’t do in makeup, it’s a wonderful thing that allows you to express yourself, be something else, and so much more. Over the years I’ve found what I like and what I don’t. I’ve found that I don’t need to hide my skin, my freckles, my acne, my dark circles, etc. I’ve come to really love those things about myself and be comfortable in my own skin. Although now I’m much more into skincare than makeup, I like to wear a little bit of highlight, some eyebrow gel, mascara, and my iconic red lipstick (and a pop of color or shimmer on occasion).
But I really just enjoy looking like me, and that’s not perfect but it’s real.