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Deciding To Make A Decision

By Christine Dela Cruz, June 5, 2019

Deciding To Make A Decision Image

Google tells me a decision means: a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration.

Sometimes consideration sounds like a buzz in my brain.

Or Deciding between ​this ​or ​that ​makes my brain hurt. Please don’t make me decide anymore, especially on what to eat when we go out.

Or Options of choice are an absolute privilege. You get to decide most of the things in your life – what a dream.

As you can tell, I did not know what intro to go with, I simply could not ​decide.​ Personally, decisions for me are difficult because my brain likes to think about every possible outcome of one decision I make – as life is truly a ‘choose your own adventure’.

But I remember a time in my life when decisions were genuinely so hard because they were about the simplest things — Should I get out of bed today? Should I attend school today? Should I eat food today? Should I go back to sleep? I​ know I get these thoughts from time to time, but the immense level of stress those decisions gave me when they introduced themselves every! morning!

It became bothersome. It made me hate decisions.

I like to say I suck at deciding things, but that’s because I hated taking the time to consider my options — to revel in deep thought about my own future; it gets a little scary. But I am at a genuinely, painstakingly, difficult decision-making time in my life. I’m only 17, but very pressured to finally ​choose something.

Don’t get me wrong, I always wanted to be seventeen, and now that I am, I truthfully feel incapable and almost powerless against what’s in store for me when I am no longer eligible for child-only-things: concession movie tickets, child opal cards (I’m a Sydney baby), and the Flipout trampoline centre. In addition, I’m asked to choose what I would like to do with my life ​(as if anyone ever knows)​. These are all stress-inducing decisions that I cannot make for myself.

But I have to at some point. And I think that’s the funny thing about decisions, you never know what you want, but you have to make one. All in order to better yourself. Should I get out of bed today? Y. Should I attend school today? Y. Should I eat food today? Y. Should I go back to sleep? Maybe, but let’s say N for now.

Sometimes I feel small against my future. But I just forget I am the one making my future.

Start making decisions with the intention that you are the one capable of doing more with it. You​ are the only one that can say ​Yes ​or ​No to things that decide the you now and the you in the future.

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